I had a dream last night that I was nominated for and accepted to be on one of those makeover reality TV shows.
If you're unfamiliar with what I'm talking about, these shows operate something like this... A person has what some people might like to refer to as "bad taste in clothing" (this can translate to "wears her daughter's clothes", "wears ill-fitting clothes" and "wears outdated clothes"). As a result of the individual's bad taste, a close friend or relative - or combination thereof - will nominate this person to get a "charitable" makeover by a TV show. In some way, shape or form, the relatives/friends gather video footage of the person's indiscretions. They will then use this video footage to essentially shame the person into accepting what is supposed to be a kind gesture.
"Let us fix you."
Cue resistance and restrictions and unwanted fashion guidance. The episode ends with the ultimate reveal. The individual walks out from behind a curtain, the audience gasps, you see before and after pictures. Tears, happy story, the husband can have sex with this woman again, blablabla.
In my dream, I'm at work and getting ready to give a presentation to clients in a conference room. The people from the TV show burst in, hand out a few gift bags to my associates, and then begin the shaming process. Among various other pieces of "found footage" of me looking like I woke up on the wrong side of my coffee in the morning, they used video of the day I was let go from my job. I was so kindly described by a person who claimed to be my friend and the lady with too much makeup on that hosted the show. "Chubby", "post-breakup face", "Is that a bagel you're eating? With CREAM CHEESE?!", "drab", "You have such potential", "We already have some ideas for your new looks".
And that was it.
If that's not an absolutely CRUEL subconscious self evaluation, I'm not really sure what else to call it.
Side note: I won't bother titling my posts anymore. I'm honestly not that creative.
