Let's toast the night away to friends!

Alright, I want to set something straight before anyone comes to me with an issue.


I always have something to say. It is a very rare, very odd occasion when I cannot find something to voice my opinion on. That being said, it is also very difficult for me to begin talking about things in a subtle way. I like starting off with short sentences and moving on to bigger (and not always better) things. Think of my writing as a sort of bell curve.


Anyway, I also know that I'm going to post fairly sporadically. There is no telling how often I will post. I think it might take me a little while to get into the swing of keeping up with this thing.


On another, more interesting and personal note... I HAVE MY INTERNSHIP! Hell yeaaaaaaah.
You are reading the bullcrap of one of the unpaid summer interns for Insite magazine. I cannot even tell you with proper words how stoked I am about this. It may only be a local, monthly magazine, but it is a start for something that will, hopefully, be a wonderful and fulfilling career as a journalist. I won't give you too much information about it right now, simply because I find myself still in the tunnel on the way to the light. All I know is that I am terribly excited.  If you're curious as to what Insite looks like, check out their website at http://www.insitegroup.com/.


Baaaaah I'm so thrilled!
Please. PLEASE SOMEONE CONGRATULATE ME.

Eisley & Economics

I. Hate. Studying.


Also, I hate not having something interesting to talk about. Given this, I can also appreciate silence. I feel as if there are some people in the world who cannot for the life of them stand the sound of silence.


In all honesty, it can scare me at times. Silence can be "deafening." It can hurt. It can force you to encounter thoughts or emotions which you never knew you had or were too terrified to encounter. However, silence can also be sweet, endearing, gentle and necessary.


I can appreciate a situation when two people are so comfortable with each other that conversation is unnecessary. I admire when a couple sits on a park bench, holding hands or drinking coffee and just enjoys time together. Silence is something that forces me to realize that while time is limitless, it is also very precious. I know that my time is fairly insignificant when it comes to the concept of existence in its entirety. In a technical way of speaking, I am merely a pixel in a larger picture. A single data entry. All I am is dust in the wind (name that song/movie!).


The matter is that we are not here forever. We do not exist beyond death but in memory. Unfortunately, memory can be fleeting. Most of us do not harbor enough ambition or drive to take by the horns the professions and causes that put us in history books. Never mind how insignificant a history book might actually be. The fact of the matter is that although I do not and will not matter to people 200 years from now, I matter to the people who mean something to me. I matter because I have people who care for me and love me, even when I do not deserve it. I matter because to matter is relative.


I matter when I am sad, happy, pissed off, cranky, emotional, moody, persistent, annoying, loud, indecisive, crude, vague, impatient, bossy, pitiful or empowered. I matter when I make a mistake or do the right thing or ignore the person asking for change on the sidewalk. I matter even though I have lost my faith and have no will to find it. I matter even though a revelation on what life means and who I have lost leads me to stupidity and a bed in the ICU.


Beyond this, you matter to me. You matter to me because maybe, just maybe, you do not have someone who cares for you the way my mom cares for me. You matter to me because you make mistakes and you know that making an apology, although possibly unaccepted, is still the right thing to do. You matter to me because your flaws make your life and relationships and experiences interesting.


You matter to me because you have taken precious, sweet, often cruel time to read this insignificant little blog in this insignificant little corner of the internet.


You matter to me.

3, 2, 1....Ignition.

To start, I will apologize. 

It seems strange to begin a blog with an apology. Considering that I (generally speaking) am not really a person who has too terribly much to apologize about, this might come as a surprise to those of you who know me better than I'd really like (I'm talking to you, Courtney, Janelle, Mom, Dad, etc.).


I'm going to apologize because I know that this is going to be a grueling and arduous process. I'm not a "write daily and learn from it" writer. Mostly, I just talk my ass off and forget about what I say later on. I figure this... I want to be a writer. I want to write for pay. I want to write about things I enjoy and things I hate, and things I have opinions about (which are most things, mind you). I figure this... In order to be a writer, to write for pay and to write about things I enjoy and hate (and things I have opinions about), I need to be able to articulate myself more clearly and to learn myself as a writer (and to avoid run-on sentences). 


Now, this isn't really something that I've ever been bad at, so to speak, but I need practice.


Hell, every writer needs practice...right?


Truth is, I don't want to be like every writer. And I know that that statement can be considered invalid, considering that no writer really is the same. We are not all unique fingerprints, though. We do not all have a style of writing that expresses who we are while maintaining a level of intrigue and wonder. Many times, a writer must depend on content rather than style and syntax to draw readers in. I don't want that. 


I want to be able to write in a way that allows me to post about disinteresting things without dropping readers like hot plates. I don't want to be known for how cute my blog is and "oh look at that adorable puppy!" or because I coined an awesome phrase or use really annoying abbreviations like "presh" and "deets." I want my blog to convey that while it may look simple, it has meaning. I want to be a thumb print, a snowflake, a leopard's spot.


This blog is going to be my proverbial "baby."


I will nurture it. I will tend to it. I will give it what it needs, and I will give it what I think it wants. 
In essence, I will spoonfeed my readers to near oblivion with....stuff. 
Don't like oysters? Tough, I'm going to talk about oysters, and I may very well post pictures of oysters.


I think that is one the curses of writing a blog. I think that you write what you write and that not every single person who reads will be interested or intrigued. I'm not here at blogger.com to write what people want to read. But I want you to read what I write because you might disagree with my opinion, or you might pity me for being ignorant about some things. I want you to read what I have to say because I am making an effort to have it known.


That being said, despite not being a people-pleaser, I hope I don't bore you to tears.




Note to self: use fewer cliches.