Days Like These.

And then there are days like these when my eyes can’t seem to focus, my skin seems electrified and I can almost feel your fingers winding and twisting through my hair even though you are not standing there with me.

And then there are days like these when my nose ignores anything but the familiar smell of your skin, my ears are filled with the tiniest of sounds and my brain is buzzing with thoughts that I can barely call my own. My senses seem amplified.

And then there are days like these when my hands are constantly shaking, my legs can’t support the weight of my body because they have turned to jelly and my heart is pounding and running on pure adrenaline.

There are days like these when I can stop and close my eyes, and all I can see on the dark inside of my eyelids is the curve of your cheek, the sharp line of your jaw, that perfect pose you have when you are waiting for me on the bed.

There are days like these when I realize that you belong to me, if only for a little while.

Until that day when the sun runs out of our love and your heart turns cold to me, I will cherish and savor days like these.

Warning: A rant follows.

I'm really sick and tired of people making empty promises then bitching about the consequences of not going through with them.

You know what? If all of your problems happen while you're drunk, then stop drinking to get drunk.

If you keep getting pregnant? Invest in birth control or stop having sex with guys who don't want to wrap it up.

Having money problems? Get a job, get a better job, stop buying Louis Vuitton handbags.

Hate the city you live in? Find another city.

Keep failing classes? STOP FAILING CLASSES.

There are simple solutions to simple problems. If you take responsibility for your actions, keep consistent and don't cry wolf all the time, your life can be a damn dream. I'm just exhausted by the fact that people have issues that they convince themselves they can't fix. I'm ALSO exhausted by the fact that my friends who do this (all. the. time.) expect me to fix it for them.

In the past, this has definitely been the case. I don't mind helping people when they need it. It's my MO. I hate it when people aren't happy, but I'm also to the point where I don't want to be held responsible for everyone's happiness. 

All in all, I guess I'm just saying to nut up and shut the hell up.

I have nothing profound to say right now, so here's a poem I love

Didn’t I stand there once,   

white-knuckled, gripping the just-lit taper,   

swearing I’d never go back?   

And hadn’t you kissed the rain from my mouth?   

And weren’t we gentle and awed and afraid,   

knowing we’d stepped from the room of desire   

into the further room of love?   

And wasn’t it sacred, the sweetness   

we licked from each other’s hands?   

And were we not lovely, then, were we not   

as lovely as thunder, and damp grass, and flame?

Narcissus

by Cecilia Woloch

Welcome home, outcasts, because I know how you have felt over the years.

Goodness, how time passes.

Do you ever really and truly stop to realize why your life seems to graze past you like a cat in the night? If you don't catch yourself, you might just trip over it.

Thankfully, that hasn't been the case for me over the past couple of months. If I recall correctly (and honestly, I don't care to put the effort in to finding out), I haven't updated my little speckling of readers on quite a lot of the things that have happened since the year started off.

There is so much to say, good grief. Where do I even begin?

I'm going to start with...work. Because it's easily the most fulfilling thing that has happened to me since January (when I last updated, holy cheese)....but I'm not going to go into all the "dramatic" details or whatever. You know what? I'm just going to make a simple timeline. I guess I need to ease myself back into telling the world my opinions (hahahahaha like that ever stops).

1. Got a seasonal job with the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo in January and worked daily during the actual rodeo.
2. Did a nanny job for a little over a month and a half for a woman who works with my dad. Two kids, 2 and 4, for a few hours a day during the week.
3. I GOT A REAL JOB. As of three weeks ago today, I became a PR assistant at Foster Marketing. Foster is a marketing and PR firm that caters to companies in the oil, gas and energy markets. I write, I edit, I help as much as I possibly can. While my position is currently part time, it is (pretty much, anyway) guaranteed to become full time within the next couple of months.

It's so exciting that I can actually say that I'm employed and that I'm working for a company that has a future for me. I was really starting to exhaust myself, holding my hopes out for these jobs which seemed ideal, with companies that seemed exciting. But Foster pretty much dropped into my lap, and I couldn't be happier in the position I'm in right now. I'm so lucky to have found a job where my work is appreciated and NEEDED. I think that's something that was really bringing me down for a while there. I felt so negative about my place in a career because I felt unnecessary and...extraneous.

The group of people I'm working with are pretty spectacular. Between all the staff meetings and projects, they find time to catch up on each other's personal lives (sounds invasive, but it's nice to have people legitimately interested in your home life, even if you don't have much to say about it).

Other than work, nothing much is going on. I've been traveling a bit, but not very far from home as my funds don't really allow for long trips.

Life is...good. Not complete (but really, when is life ever actually complete?), but good.

I promise I will update more regularly. I can't promise that what I post will be particularly interesting, but whatever.

Peace and love, y'all. And biscuits. Because biscuits are delicious and everyone loves biscuits.

So let's give it up for the new year...

2012 has arrived as of yesterday morning. I have to say that I've done quite a bit of reflecting in the past couple of days (really, though, who doesn't when the year turns from one to the next), and I've decided on a few things.

I vow to treat myself with as much respect as possible. This itty bitty new year's resolution applies to many different areas of my life. Besides my health, it includes surrounding myself with people who make me feel like life isn't a metaphorical boxing ring. I shouldn't be going about thinking that I need to one up someone else. I shouldn't be betting on my odds in love or careers. I should be happy about my own accomplishments and about others. While I should listen to and appreciate other people's opinions and beliefs, I shouldn't wrap my entire being and thoughts about success and happiness around them. I should value my own more than I have in previous years. I vow to find my dreams and go after them. I vow to appreciate my own talents and skills in certain areas of my life. I also vow to paint my nails a different color every week. Certainly, there are more things I vow to do, but these are the most important.

Day 23

Day 24

Day 25

Day 26

Day 27

Day 28

Day 29

Day 30

Day 31

By now, you should have probably noticed that I didn't take a picture a day, nor did I post a picture a day. Regardless, all of these are new pictures, and I am very proud of them.

So...y'know, screw off.

:D Much love and a happy new year to you all!